Why I don't do math

I was looking up the word "catenary" for work and I see this:


..and I think to myself, thank God I learned to write.

I remember being about 7 or 8 and finding some old book on calculus in my parents' bookshelves. I thought, "I'm going to read this book and go right to college. Everyone's going to be so impressed!"

Then I saw stuff like the "thing" above. And I thought, there's no way. My mind isn't built like that.

I'm a curious person if nothing else, but my brain actually seizes when I see mathematical formulas of even mild complexity. I still think people who do those things are somehow alien life forms.

Pieces

Can we please stop?

Now what?

Just stop.

The car skids and leans sharply on the Twinkie-soft embankment. I can't catch the notebook. It slides across the dash, slaps off the passenger window, and lands on Candice’s lap.

Hell, I would have opened it, too.

Ka-blooey.

Always a great quote from this pisser

Johnny Lydon, interviewed in '87 while drinking beer for breakfast (which is one of my favorite treats, by the way):

Q: One last question. What do you think of Deep Purple?

Lydon: Nothing. My mind is a blank. (laughs) Why, are they big here?

Q: Yes.

Lydon: Oh, how pathetic. I thought we buried that lot years ago. Ah well. Bad habits die hard.