Bad thoughts and premonitions

I've been thinking lately of all the times I could have died a violent death.

Falling on my head in the street. Riding on the hood of a car. Learning to surf in a storm and getting carried out to sea. Falling asleep at the wheel. Crashing while riding my scooter drunk. Riding double on a bike into oncoming traffic. Taking turns too fast on single lane farm roads and spinning out. Loading up in a car young people, of all of us drunk. Shooting weapons and throwing knives close to friends. Scaling buildings and trees while drunk. Getting hit by a garbage truck.

Altogether, it doesn't seem like an unusual amount of risk for a human male. Many boys grow up surrounded by war and violent crime. I personally know poeple who have lived more dangerously. But for each risky thing that happened to me, I've heard stories about someone who did something similar and bit the big one. There are people I grew up with who died violently, too, people who probably took no greater number of chances in life than I.

Of course, I truly hope to die in my sleep at a ripe old age, surrounded by loved ones. And of course, now that I have children, I like to think I make better choices. Yet my nightmares are chock full of head-on collisions, plane crashes and 10-story falls that seem way overdue.

Sappy post alert

I love that I get to spend the rest of my life attached to this guy. He teaches me so much -- frankly, more than my biological children. Thanks, Joe.