When I’m close to operating at maximum bandwidth, my mind contracts, and I go straight for the TV. It really is heroin for the brain and I can’t help but succumb. I go and go and go and then I drop and allow all the cynicism of the Daily Show and Family Guy and the violence and cynicism of sporting events to take over.
This duality seems to be my fate. I've been unable to escape it, even though I know I should by reading more, or meditating more, or just watching the wind push around the trees. And the days fly past, I mean really fly. Kids grow. My stomach grows.
Something’s gotta give. Just hope it’s not a stroke, at least not yet. I was actually thinking about it before I went to sleep last night. Man, that would just screw up everything.
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