As I get older I find myself more frequently in need of The Big Shakeup -- a major or sometimes minor change of lifestyle that lights the match under my ass. But this technique seems to lose its effectiveness over the years... either that, or I'm just getting less and less eager for change.
I've always had a list of stuff I want to do. Lately, that list is being ignored for simpler pleasures: Watching the kids play soccer. Failblog videos on YouTube. Fantasy football. Lovemaking. Beer.
On one hand, these are truly enjoyable activities, and I feel -- for the first time in a while, actually -- that I deserve them. I have not had a real vacation in over a year, so it's probably natural that my body and mind are retracting a little.
On the other, I feel quite strongly that I'm losing my edge. This scares me.
I have a new job and the work is not adding up like I thought it would. But instead of taking the extra time to find extra income, or at least plug away at the novel, I'm gravitating toward my base instincts.
And the guilt builds...
4 comments:
Dude, don't knock the simple pleasures. I haven't had a chance to hold hands with my husband for nearly a month, let alone make love or watch goofy YouTube videos with him (or by myself all that much -- wifi was limited).
Don't get me wrong. Doing the Shake it Up thing is intense, in all kinds of ways. But your post makes me long for the simple stuff I've been missing so dearly.
Hey, dude, just so you know? From the outside you look like a driven powerhouse. An obsessed achiever. From what you've said to me, I suspect a little down time may be what you need right now.
For Pete's sake, take it a little easier on yourself! There aren't a lot of people out there who could juggle your life. Give yourself some credit.
Just sayin'.
Thanks you guys. It's difficult, though, when you know you could or should be doing x, y & z... and aren't even doing x. Argh.
Warren, I think we're ALL like that in the sense that we are our own harshest critics. Believe me when I say I could provide you with a laundry list of the ways I've been known to thrash myself.
This is not a call to ease up on yourself so much as a simple statement of I Totally Get It.
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