The Mind is a Terrible Thing to Taste

Welcome to the post that will get me labeled as a weak-willed whacko susceptible motivational crapspeak.

So I've been checking out the "how to succeed" book section at work. These are the kinds of books I've avoided since I first dabbled in them as a confused teen (I once wanted to be a cop, going so far as wearing a tan trenchcoat, a la Columbo), before opting for books for artistic enjoyment or facts.

A few years ago, as I was wrapping up my personal Year Of Hell, a friend's dad recommended that I read "Think and Grow Rich" by Napoleon Hill. It contained the key to life, he said. Read it. Know it. Live it. And you'll be OK.

I had never heard of Napoleon Hill. But my friend's dad was so adamant, I bought the book and forced myself to read 50 pages, until I felt ready to puke.

BOR-ING.

Fast forward a few years. I've now read the entire book and even listened to the audio version. I've also read J. Paul Getty's "How to Live Rich," Bob Proctor's "You Were Born Rich," and a few other sales/motivational tomes. Which is really funny when you think that, 20 years ago, I was sitting in my mom's house, mirthfully running my fingers through the 30 joints I had just rolled, giggling like Scrooge McDuck.

So why am I reading these things?

I don't know. But I know it has something to do with my way of thinking, and probably a bit about where I've been, where I am, and where I want to go.

What I'm learning from these books is that I haven't been preparing for success as much as I've been trying not to fail. For example, I used to say I was always motivated best by desperation. There certainly seems to be truth in this. Proctor, for example, teaches about creating vacuums by getting rid of things you don't want to make room for the things you do want, even if you don't have the money to buy them. You're actually acquiring the need.

Anyway, before, I had lots of confidence. But I was confident only in my ability to work hard, not to get ahead. When I had success, I was always just pleasantly surprised. Maybe I shouldn't be surprised. I should expect to reach my goals, and carry on as though I will.

Just thinking out loud here.

I realize a lot of these books are produced by self-promotional wingnuts who had little to sell but their own mouth. Hill is still a boring read, who goes a little overboard with his "master mind" and "power of sex transmutation" crap. But it's not all bullshit I suppose.