My firstborn

Just some not-so-random thoughts about my first born and all the stuff that makes her Awesome yet Drives Me Crazy...

Awesome:

What an imagination. Now this could easily fall into the Drives Me Crazy realm, but not for me. I adore a healthy imagination, even if it does drive me crazy.

Is a live-for-today sort of kid. Can bounce back from defeat pretty darn quickly.

Whipsmart funny... and how.

Has a lot more self-confidence at school, particularly among her peers, than I ever did.

Seems to be grasping "the big picture" about her mom and I.

Tells me exactly what's up.

Talks to me. Yeah, she's only eight, and these aren't the deepest conversations and they may not last. But we talk. Let me enjoy it for now.

Drives Me Crazy:

The meltdowns. Not as bad as her other genetic influence, but a near-daily obstacle.

...

Oh shit. I thought this would sort of balance out, but it totally doesn't. My kid's awesome. Shame on me!

...

The other night I got mad at a good friend. I finished my drink, grabbed my shit and walked away.

The seconds between getting up and reaching the door of the bar were like a dream. I couldn't believe I was doing this.

Once outside, I had no idea what to do. It was cold and I was too drunk to drive. I leaned my head back on the car and threw it out to the universe. What to do, what to do...

Apologize. Promise not to bring it up again and ask him to do the same. Hug him. Try to forget, and try to remember.

When you really, really needed him, he was there.

Bukowski Tapes

Getting back into Bukowski and stumbled upon a string of YouTube posts of his poetry and interviews here.

Incredible how much output this guy had considering he wasn't very active in his early years and seems to have spent most of his waking life drunk or drinking, even during interviews and performances. A crafted, schtick-ish element to that persona, perhaps. Still impressive.

Best podcast ever

Someday, I tell myself, I'm going to write a novel about my band days. We're only talking about a total of two years (not counting last year's reunion), but they were two of the funnest years of my life.

As a family man, I don't make it out to many shows anymore, but there is something that keeps the music alive in me. And it's totally, amazingly, free.

All I know about KPunk is that it's a podcast run by some guy named Kevin who has incredible taste in music -- good, good punk music. Every three weeks like clockwork, dude hauls out a brilliant, 45-minute old-school style mixtape filled with new and classic tunes that makes my heart wilt with love.

Just one of these things is so loaded with meaty, balls-out tunes, that before you know it, three weeks have passed and another one comes out -- before you've even thought of getting sick of it of the last one. I mean it's just incredible. The fact that KPunk favors certain bands -- like the Copyrights, the Errgs! and Teenage Bottlerocket -- doesn't bother me in the least, cuz they're pretty friggin' awesome. (Just ask my two-year-old, Sonny, who simply adores both the song and the vid for In The Basement.)

Of course I know not everyone is a fan of punk and the fact I'm burying my declaration of love in superlatives probably does more harm than good. All I know is, if I ever do write that band novel, I'll do it listening to KPunk. Thank you, Kevin.

Once a upon a Lester

If you lived in San Mateo around 1980 and happened to spy a squeaky-voiced white kid running around town with his hand up the ass of a black Lester doll and making it talk like Fred Sanford meets Bugs Bunny, I have just one thing to say.

Thank you for not killing me.