The new DWW - Read It or Beat It

So I'm up to 50,000 words in the novel I'm writing. (I would call it my "first novel" but it could also be my last, so I'll wait until there's a second.) It's close enough to being done that I've decided to take a look at this blog, which in theory could become some kind of landing place for anybody curious enough to find me after reading something I wrote.

I was surprised to find Dead Wall Window is -- WOW -- five freakin' years old, which, I don't know why, just seems like forever to me. A ton of stuff has changed in my life during that time. Most importantly, I have two more children, Sonny and Declan. A laugh-riot, those two. I also got out journalism when the getting was still good, and through a few odd turns, managed to successfully transition to a new career making better money. I'm kinda proud of that. And I joined a writer's group, which is the key reason why I have a nearly completed novel and writing this here post today.

But the main thing I realized upon reviewing this blog -- or rather, could feel -- was the solemn frustration and aimlessness behind most of my posts.

Frankly, this blog never really had a point. It was entirely an impulse, a place where I could record odd memories and thoughts about stuff that caught my interest, and occassionally stretch my writing muscles. The expectations were extremely low. It was an outlet. I didn't think anybody would read it or even find it. I didn't even tell my closest friends. And as I kept reading, I could sort of see why.

Many of the posts represented some achy, vague grievance that I was trying to put my finger on. In retrospect I think these posts were extremely helpful to me on a personal level, and were well worth expressing. But to the outsider, they couldn't have been much fun to read (I'm speaking generally; I know some folks read things and liked 'em -- and I thank ye kindly) and I sort of knew it at the time I wrote them, due to the amount of apologizing I did for "whining." All of which seems silly now. One writes to be read. If I didn't want people to waste their time, I should have bought a diary.

And so anyway, I started asking myself: What impression does this blog leave folks who don't know me? And should I care? Up until now, Dead Wall Window read like what it is, and what I initially decribed it as -- "a writer's toilet." And a very self-obsessed toilet, at that. It struck me that this is no way for a writer trying to reach a broader audience to work. I should aspire to something more. Frankly, I better.

So I began thinking about changing the look and tone of this blog. I even mulled starting all over. But then I thought of the past five years and all the stuff that's happened ... and I realized that this blog might have its own story to tell. At the very least, something my kids could point at and say, "See, I told you Dad was a sicko."

So I'm sticking with DWW. And I'm committed to (and I'm going to say it out loud, so hopefully it sticks) posting more, putting myself out there more, sharing insights about writing and publishing (to the degree I'm comfortable doing so), and maybe -- god forbid -- serve as a source of information or guidepost for somebody. The frustrations will still be here, I'm sure. But it's time to kick it up a notch.